--Barry Bonds, aka the Anti-Christ
--Michelle Wie
--Real Madrid
--The Anti-Christ tested positive for amphetamines, or 'greenies'. This comes as no surprise to me since he is a druggie, as far as I'm concerned. He even went so far as to blame his positive test on a teammate, saying he taken the 'greenies' from this person's locker. The next day he apologizes to said teammate, doesn't deny taking the 'greenies', just that he didn't get them from the locker. What a class a asshole. Everyone knows you don't air out whatever goes on in the clubhouse, good or bad, in public.
Drugs, steroids, cocaine and 'greenies', have been around baseball for the better part of three decades or more. Until 2002 though only cocaine was illegal and against the rules. In 2002, steroids and amphetamines were put on the banned list. The Anti-Christ, being the class act that he is, can't just go down the tubes by himself. No, he has to take someone with him. First it was Greg Anderson giving him the steroids unbeknownst to the Anti-Christ, now it is Mark Sweeney giving him amphetamines. Anderson is in jail and Sweeney gets an apology. Where is Anderson's apology? The Anti-Christ did not seem to learn too well from the demise of Pete Rose. If Rose had admitted to betting on baseball about 10 years before he did then the part of the public that is baseball fans would have forgiven him and he would be in the Hall of Fame now. If the Anti-Christ had admitted he took the steroids within a year of the allegations then he would have been forgiven in the public eye. Stupid Fucker.
--Michelle Wie needs to get her scrawny ass back onto the LPGA. When are her parents going to figure out that she can't cut it on the PGA? They have pushed her and pushed her to become a great golfer, but her greatness will never be known until they get it through their heads that she can't compete on the men's tour. She would rival Annika Sorenstam at the top of every tournament on the LPGA. Stupid Fucker!
--Real Madrid benched Beckham and is letting Ronaldo leave the team. What kind of idiot benches one of the best players in the world and lets another top player leave? Apparently Spanish idiots do this. Real Madrid coach Fabio Capello benched the English star after he signed a 5yr, $250M contract with the LA Galaxy, that begins in August (his contract with Real Madrid ends in June). Capello also benched Ronaldo in a recent game and is pretty stupid for doing so. Beckham is one of the most dangerous kickers on free kicks and can play the middle of the field very well. Ronaldo may have had some injuries this season, but he is still one of the best players in the world. Stupid Fuckers!
That's it for this week. A short list, but it should pick up again next week.
Showing posts with label "stupid fucker". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "stupid fucker". Show all posts
Friday, January 12, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
The Weekly "Stupid Fucker" List
The weekly "stupid fucker" list will be moving to Fridays. That being typed, here is the list.
Brady 'crybaby' Quinn--What a loser this fucking guy is. He wins the 'Golden Arm' award (best senior quarterback) and the Maxwell award (best college football player), yet can't beat any team that has won more than like 2 games in the history of the school (except Navy which has won 5 games in its history). How the hell can this guy be the best college player and quarterback if he can't do anything but shit his diaper in a big game. He has good stats the past 2 years (7345 yds, 69TDs, and 14 interceptions), but was completely lousy against any good team. Good luck to whatever NFL team lands this gem of a player. Stupid fucker!
MLB Owners--Money, money, money, mmoonneeyy.....MONEY! The owners are like starving kids in a candy store. Here are the ten worst signings of the hot stove, in no particular order (and not necessarily because the player is bad).
1--Gary Matthews Jr.--5yrs/$50M--$10M a year for an over the hill has been outfielder that hasn't knocked in more than 80 runs in a year and won't last the whole contract
2--Gil Meche--5yrs/$55M--$11M a year for this guy? Who the fuck is Gil Meche and what has he done to be worth $11M a year. He must be a 20-game winner...NOPE. A big strikeout pitcher....Not a chance. A workhorse....Whatever. He is barely an average pitcher that should be making closer to the league minimum rather than $11M a year.
3--Andy Pettite--1yr/$16M--Another over the hill pitcher getting way more than he is worth. I know pitching is hard to come by, but come on.
4--Jason Schmidt--3yrs/$47M--This would be a good contract if Schmidt didn't have health issues. The Dodgers will be lucky to get 1 full good year out of all three.
5--Frank Thomas--2yrs/$18M--Thomas is like 800 years old. I know he just had a good season, but do you really think he will do it again? I predict he will get injured again and won't even be able to finish this contract.
6--Jim Edmonds--2yrs/$19M--Jim was a great ballplayer, but now he is just an above average player. Not worth the $9.5M a year he will be getting.
7--Nomar Garciaparra--2yrs/$18.5M--If he wasn't so injury-prone this might actually be a good deal for the Dodgers. Too bad he spends more time on the DL than my wife spends on the Internet (even if it is research, she is always on).
8--Barry Zito--7yrs/$126M--I think his first two years will be above average, but then his body will start to break down from all the innings he has pitched over the last few years(200+IP in each of the last 6 years).
9--Ted Lilly--4yrs/$40M--$10M a year for a .500 pitcher and an career ERA of almost 5.00. Give me a break.
10--Randy Wolf--1yr/$8M--WHAT?!? $8M for a barely average pitcher that has given up almost one HR per game pitched (157HR/194G) and has a strikeout to walk ratio of barely over 2 K's per walk (971K/437BB).
MLB owners are just plain stupid. Stupid Fuckers.
Arizona Diamondbacks--How stupid do you have to be to trade for a pitcher that makes more than the owner and is older than the entire pitching staff combined? Pretty stupid if you ask me. The Spankees must be eating their cake that they found some sucker team to take this old has-been off their hands with minimal cost to them. Randy Johnson will make $16M this year ($14M paid by Arizona and the other $2M by the Spankees). He will allow far too many runs for the less than potent Arizona offense to help him to the 15+ wins the Spankee offense helped him get. I know he is a fan favorite in Arizona, but come on, this is far too high a price tag just for that. Stupid Fuckers!
Well, that is it for this week. Hope you liked it.
- Nick Saban
- Brady 'Crybaby' Quinn
- MLB Owners
- Arizona Diamondbacks
Brady 'crybaby' Quinn--What a loser this fucking guy is. He wins the 'Golden Arm' award (best senior quarterback) and the Maxwell award (best college football player), yet can't beat any team that has won more than like 2 games in the history of the school (except Navy which has won 5 games in its history). How the hell can this guy be the best college player and quarterback if he can't do anything but shit his diaper in a big game. He has good stats the past 2 years (7345 yds, 69TDs, and 14 interceptions), but was completely lousy against any good team. Good luck to whatever NFL team lands this gem of a player. Stupid fucker!
MLB Owners--Money, money, money, mmoonneeyy.....MONEY! The owners are like starving kids in a candy store. Here are the ten worst signings of the hot stove, in no particular order (and not necessarily because the player is bad).
1--Gary Matthews Jr.--5yrs/$50M--$10M a year for an over the hill has been outfielder that hasn't knocked in more than 80 runs in a year and won't last the whole contract
2--Gil Meche--5yrs/$55M--$11M a year for this guy? Who the fuck is Gil Meche and what has he done to be worth $11M a year. He must be a 20-game winner...NOPE. A big strikeout pitcher....Not a chance. A workhorse....Whatever. He is barely an average pitcher that should be making closer to the league minimum rather than $11M a year.
3--Andy Pettite--1yr/$16M--Another over the hill pitcher getting way more than he is worth. I know pitching is hard to come by, but come on.
4--Jason Schmidt--3yrs/$47M--This would be a good contract if Schmidt didn't have health issues. The Dodgers will be lucky to get 1 full good year out of all three.
5--Frank Thomas--2yrs/$18M--Thomas is like 800 years old. I know he just had a good season, but do you really think he will do it again? I predict he will get injured again and won't even be able to finish this contract.
6--Jim Edmonds--2yrs/$19M--Jim was a great ballplayer, but now he is just an above average player. Not worth the $9.5M a year he will be getting.
7--Nomar Garciaparra--2yrs/$18.5M--If he wasn't so injury-prone this might actually be a good deal for the Dodgers. Too bad he spends more time on the DL than my wife spends on the Internet (even if it is research, she is always on).
8--Barry Zito--7yrs/$126M--I think his first two years will be above average, but then his body will start to break down from all the innings he has pitched over the last few years(200+IP in each of the last 6 years).
9--Ted Lilly--4yrs/$40M--$10M a year for a .500 pitcher and an career ERA of almost 5.00. Give me a break.
10--Randy Wolf--1yr/$8M--WHAT?!? $8M for a barely average pitcher that has given up almost one HR per game pitched (157HR/194G) and has a strikeout to walk ratio of barely over 2 K's per walk (971K/437BB).
MLB owners are just plain stupid. Stupid Fuckers.
Arizona Diamondbacks--How stupid do you have to be to trade for a pitcher that makes more than the owner and is older than the entire pitching staff combined? Pretty stupid if you ask me. The Spankees must be eating their cake that they found some sucker team to take this old has-been off their hands with minimal cost to them. Randy Johnson will make $16M this year ($14M paid by Arizona and the other $2M by the Spankees). He will allow far too many runs for the less than potent Arizona offense to help him to the 15+ wins the Spankee offense helped him get. I know he is a fan favorite in Arizona, but come on, this is far too high a price tag just for that. Stupid Fuckers!
Well, that is it for this week. Hope you liked it.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Year End "Stupid Fucker" List
The last "Stupid Fucker" list of 2006 will be the 10 biggest "Stupid Fuckers" in the world of sports as determined by me. These are in no particular order.
- The Anti-Christ
- Terrell Owens
- Justin Gatlin
- Floyd Landis and Lance Armstrong
- Ohio State Football Coach Jim Tressell
- Brady Quinn and Notre Dame Football
- MLB Owners and GMs
- The BCS System
- Zinedine Zidane
- The Houston Texans
1-The Anti-Christ, also known as Barry Bonds. The Anti-Christ is my most hated baseball player of all time and probably will be forever. I don't hate the Anti-Christ as a person, I have never met it, but I loathe it as a baseball player. To basically take the record book and wipe your ass with it is the most despicable thing that can be done as far as I am concerned (it barely beats out spitting on another player). Barry Bonds was having a Hall of Fame career before he became the Anti-Christ, he was the sole member of the 500-500 club (500 career Home Runs and 500 career steals). This almost assured him a spot in the Hall especially considering he was still playing and had a good 5-10 years to go, baring injury of course. Apparently being a shoe in to the Hall of Fame was not good enough for this FUCKER. Nope, not the Anti-Christ. He sees other players getting records and taking the spotlight off of him so he decides he NEEDS to take roids and start breaking records. After getting caught, the Anti-Christ claims to not have known about any illegal activity and totally denies EVER to have taken any form of roids. WHAT A STUPID FUCKING LIAR. The Anti-Christ used to be solidly built, nothing spectacular, but had good power and was quick. Now it has ballooned into a ginormously large head and neck and bulked up faster than humanly possible. Injuries were just shaken off until it had to pretend it wasn't using anymore. Once the body was off the junk the injuries lingered. Make no mistake, the Anti-Christ went from a great, maybe one of the greatest, baseball player to a junkie has been that only the stupid fuckers of San Francisco can stand. It can still hit the ball and will eventually break the most hallowed record in the books, if it can find the record underneath the Hershey stain it has left on the book, unless it suffers a career-ending injury (PLEASE INJURE THIS STUPID FUCKER). I have no problem with the record getting broken that is what happens to records, but I have a problem with the Anti-Christ breaking it. STUPID FUCKER!
2-We go from the most disrespectful baseball player to the most disrespectful football player. Terrell Owens is a loud, obnoxious, stupid fucking wide receiver that only cares about what he is getting out of any situation regardless of the consequences to the people around him. He admittedly falls asleep in team meetings, doesn't show up for practice, alligator arms passes thrown to him if he doesn't drop the pass outright. His rise to "Stupid Fucker" status was complete when he spit in the face of DeAngelo Hall, my boy from Virginia Tech. How disrespectful and uncaring about another human being can you be? To top things off after admitting that he committed the act, he then realizes it was not caught on tape so he denied it the next day. What a piece of work this stupid fucker is. Owens does not respect anybody (player, coach, ex-player, regular person, fan, etc....) and cares not what harm his actions could cause anybody, except himself. He just wants to be in the spotlight, whether that is positive or negative, he doesn't care. As long as no-one forgets him or gets more headlines than him he is happy. STUPID FUCKER!
3-Justin, Justin, Justin....what the fuck were you thinking? Another good example of a world class athlete that for some stupid reason feels the need to take a performance enhancer. In May of 2006 Justin Gatlin ran the fastest time in history in the 100m dash----9.77 seconds. WOW! WAIT!!!!!!!!!! He tested positive for testosterone on April 22nd, 2006 and ended up with an 8 year ban. What the fuck?!? Are any of the records in sports not drug-enhanced? I was ecstatic when Justin won the 100m dash at the Olympic Games in Athens. Now I am just disappointed and confused as to why he would do something like this. STUPID FUCKER!
4-The Tour de France is probably the most gruelling race of any kind in sports. To win this race is an achievement that a person should be extremely proud of. Winning it more than once is just incredible. Only 18 cyclists have ever won the race more than once. Only the last 2 (Armstrong 7 times and Landis in 2006) have been accused of doping. I say strip them both of their titles (all of them) and give it to the next person in line that didn't dope. Fuck 'em all for doping. Strip this prominent title away from the cheaters that didn't earn it and give it to the rightful winners whoever they may be. STUPID FUCKERS!
5-Jim Tressell is a great football coach. He is also an idiot. After voting in and influencing the polls for the first 14 weeks of the college football season, ol' Jimbo here decides that his vote would not be missed in the final poll (the one that publishes the coaches vote's) and does not complete his. He based this decision on not wanting to influence who his team played in the national championship game. Well dumbass you have already done that by voting in the previous 14. I think he just didn't want people to see which team he was afraid of facing in the national championship game. I hope Florida kicks Ohio State's ass. Ohio State should just hide behind their coach and stay in Ohio in the pit of cowardice their coach has dug for them. STUPID FUCKER!
6-So Brady "Crybaby" Quinn thinks the critics are giving the Notre Dame football program an unfair rap. He is tired of the criticism from the media and doesn't like hearing all the critics say how much his team stinks. Well miss Quinn it is time to shit or get off the pot. You have one game to prove that your team is even remotely good. #4 LSU is all that stands between you and being the #1 pick in next years NFL draft (although I would put you as a mid-late first rounder personally). Beat #4 LSU and the fact you played like a huge pile of elephant shit in the only two games against good teams (Michigan and USC) will disappear. Make sure you change your diaper before you take the field against LSU or you will be swimming in shit yet again. STUPID FUCKER!
7-The contracts that have been handed out to mediocre players this off-season is ludicrous. Give the owners and GM's some money to play with and they will spend every dime of it on players that should be making half as much. I mean come on $10M- Gary Matthews Jr, $11M- Ted Lilly and Gil Meche, $16M-The Anti-Christ, $16+M- Jason Schmidt, $16.6M- Carlos Lee, $16M- Andy Pettite, $8.8M-Juan Pierre, $17M-Alfonso Soriano, $9M-Frank Thomas, $9.5M-Jim Edmonds, $9.25M-Nomar Garciaparra, $10.5M-Tom Glavine, $14.6M-Aramis Ramirez to name some. These contracts are out of this world. All of these players are aging or injury prone and are going to have a hard time living up to these contracts. I bet in 2-3 years we see most if not all of these contracts on the trading block. Show some restraint owners/GMs. The fans want to win, but not at the cost of the future of their team. STUPID FUCKERS!
8-The BCS System is terrible yet again this year. Although this year the computers are not to blame. This year we can thank the coaches and media for the controversy. Michigan or Florida? Who knows, I agree with Florida getting their shot, but you could make a good argument for Michigan as well, their only loss came AT Ohio State and that by only three points. Florida lost to then #11 Auburn, a bitter rival. Other than that one game, they won every SEC game they played, including the championship. They beat LSU, Tennessee, and Arkansas. Some say the National Champion needs to win their conference/conference championship game. I agree with that--winning their conference should be a requirement. I also think that the Coaches poll should publish the way a coach votes for the entire year (not just the last week). This would prevent coaches from changing their votes for no apparent reason for the last poll. If their vote's are published they could be called out as to why they moved a team above another one. STUPID FUCKING SYSTEM!
9-Way to use your head asshole! Zinedine Zidane, for those of you who do not follow soccer, decided that trash talking against his family, friends, fans, dog, cat, french teacher, etc... was punishable with a head butt directly to the sternum of Italian player Marco Materazzi. This could have seriously injured Marco, but whether or not Marco got injured is not the reason Zizou made this list. Zizou is regarded as one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He was always considered a fair player and won FIFA World Player of the Year a record tying 3 times. Real Madrid paid an astounding 66M Euros in a transfer fee to get him to their team. No other transfer fee in history has come close to this sum. So why would he jeopardize such an astonishing career by getting red-carded in the final match (the WORLD CUP FINAL at that) of his storied career for head-butting another player? Good question and as far as I am concerned there is no good answer. He should have let whatever was said go and finish the match. France ended up losing that match to Italy. Largely in part to the fact that their best player and spiritual leader was not on the pitch. STUPID FUCKER!
10-The Houston Texans are complete idiots for not taking Reggie Bush as the #1 pick in last year's NFL draft. Not that Mario Williams is a bad player, but he is not the impact player that Reggie is. Reggie is an all around player that would have brought a new dimension to the Texans offense. At least he would have been a great outlet for David Carr to dump the ball off to before he got plastered into the turf. The Texans would rather see Carr looking to the sky (sacked and on his back)than provide him with serious offensive threat. Good thing they still suck so they can maybe get a lesser player with their first round pick this year. STUPID FUCKERS!
Well, there you have it, the 10 stupidest fuckers in the world of sports, as far as I am concerned, for this year. GO VIRGINIA TECH!!!!!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Weekly "Stupid Fucker" List
1--The Anti-Christ
2--The Boston Red Sox
3--Rich Rodriguez
4--Notre Dame Football
5--NCAA Awards Committee
6--Philadelphia 76'ers
7--Alabama Football
1--The Anti-Christ will play yet another year of baseball-----Dammit!(SOMEONE PLEASE INJURE THIS FUCKER!) A friend of mine asked me the other day why I hated the Anti-Christ so much, after all it hasn't been proven that it used steroids. The stick of Pittsburgh turns into a Giant behemoth with a ginormous head and no neck, hhmm......proof enough for me. In fact, that got me thinking, and I am here by officially changing my stand point from a previous post. I had said that I would vote the Anti-Christ into the Hall of Fame until actual evidence of its steroid use appeared. Well no more, I will never vote the Anti-Christ into the Hall of Fame. McGwire was always huge, so he may or may not have used roids, but the Anti-Christ has not always been huge. Steroid monkeys are stupid fuckers and the Anti-Christ is one of the worst.
2--My beloved Red Sox have made the list twice in a row now. PONY UP dammit. They are not willing to pay Matsuzaka what he should be making. If Kansas City can give Gil fucking Meche $11M a year for 5 years then the Red Sox need to pony up and give this Japanese pitching sensation at least the $12M Scott Boras is asking. If he is even half as good as advertised then they got a #1 or #2 starting pitcher at a bargain by today's standards.
3--The West Virginia football coach, Rich Rodriguez, backed away from the Alabama coaching job just one day after he had accepted it. What a loser. He signed a 7 year contract with WVU just this past summer and recruited players for the WVU football team under the pretense that he would be the coach. A lot of players make up their minds about where to play college football and ultimately get a higher education based on the coach. Apparently the contract he signed in June wasn't good enough for him so he told Alabama he would coach their football team. So now WVU has to sweeten the pot (thanks to Ken Kendrick) to give this fucker an extension to a contract he just signed not 8 months prior. I guess the $1M a year he is making is not enough to live on in West Virginia. My ass! The sad thing is the respect he has lost with his team. He claims the reports of him originally accepting the Alabama job are completely false and I am sure his team will say they respect him more than ever, but you know deep down they are unsure if(when?) he will jump ship for a better offer. The seniors might not care too much since they are about to graduate or move on to the NFL, but the ones he just recruited in which I am sure he said he would be a WVU a long time. They might not be so non-judgemental. Stupid Fucker.
4--Saying I hate Notre Dame football is one of the biggest understatements in the history of mankind. STUPID FUCKERS
5--Who comes up with the awards handed out at the end of the season? Here is the list and what they are given for:
2--The Boston Red Sox
3--Rich Rodriguez
4--Notre Dame Football
5--NCAA Awards Committee
6--Philadelphia 76'ers
7--Alabama Football
1--The Anti-Christ will play yet another year of baseball-----Dammit!(SOMEONE PLEASE INJURE THIS FUCKER!) A friend of mine asked me the other day why I hated the Anti-Christ so much, after all it hasn't been proven that it used steroids. The stick of Pittsburgh turns into a Giant behemoth with a ginormous head and no neck, hhmm......proof enough for me. In fact, that got me thinking, and I am here by officially changing my stand point from a previous post. I had said that I would vote the Anti-Christ into the Hall of Fame until actual evidence of its steroid use appeared. Well no more, I will never vote the Anti-Christ into the Hall of Fame. McGwire was always huge, so he may or may not have used roids, but the Anti-Christ has not always been huge. Steroid monkeys are stupid fuckers and the Anti-Christ is one of the worst.
2--My beloved Red Sox have made the list twice in a row now. PONY UP dammit. They are not willing to pay Matsuzaka what he should be making. If Kansas City can give Gil fucking Meche $11M a year for 5 years then the Red Sox need to pony up and give this Japanese pitching sensation at least the $12M Scott Boras is asking. If he is even half as good as advertised then they got a #1 or #2 starting pitcher at a bargain by today's standards.
3--The West Virginia football coach, Rich Rodriguez, backed away from the Alabama coaching job just one day after he had accepted it. What a loser. He signed a 7 year contract with WVU just this past summer and recruited players for the WVU football team under the pretense that he would be the coach. A lot of players make up their minds about where to play college football and ultimately get a higher education based on the coach. Apparently the contract he signed in June wasn't good enough for him so he told Alabama he would coach their football team. So now WVU has to sweeten the pot (thanks to Ken Kendrick) to give this fucker an extension to a contract he just signed not 8 months prior. I guess the $1M a year he is making is not enough to live on in West Virginia. My ass! The sad thing is the respect he has lost with his team. He claims the reports of him originally accepting the Alabama job are completely false and I am sure his team will say they respect him more than ever, but you know deep down they are unsure if(when?) he will jump ship for a better offer. The seniors might not care too much since they are about to graduate or move on to the NFL, but the ones he just recruited in which I am sure he said he would be a WVU a long time. They might not be so non-judgemental. Stupid Fucker.
4--Saying I hate Notre Dame football is one of the biggest understatements in the history of mankind. STUPID FUCKERS
5--Who comes up with the awards handed out at the end of the season? Here is the list and what they are given for:
- Bronko Nagurski Award--Most Outstanding Defensive Player
- Buck Buchanan Award--Div I-AA Outstanding Defensive Player
- Butkus Award--Outstanding Linebacker
- Chuck Bednarik Award--Defensive Player of the Year--isn't this the same as the Bronko Nagurski Award?
- Davey O'Brien Award--Most Outstanding QB
- Doak Walker Award--Premier Running Back (must be in good academic standing)
- Fred Biletnikoff Award--Most Outstanding Receiver
- The Heisman Trophy--Best College Player?
- Jim Thorpe Award--Best Defensive Back
- John Mackey Award--Best Tight End
- Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award--Best SENIOR QB
- Lou Groza Award--Best Placekicker
- Maxwell Award--Player of the Year--isn't this the same as the Heisman?
- Outland Trophy--Best offensive or defensive interior lineman
- Ray Guy Award--Best Punter
- Rimington Award--Most Outstanding Center
- Ted Hendricks Award--Best Defensive End
- Vince Lombardi/Rotary Award--Best Offensive or Defensive Lineman that also displays the discipline of Lombardi the most--WHAT?
- Walter Camp Award--Player of the Year--yet another player of the year award, this one is voted on by the coaches and sports information directors as opposed to being voted on by the media.
I wonder if I petition the committee that comes up with these awards for an award named after myself if I would get it approved? Call it The Vonsteiner--awarded to the offensive or defensive lineman that weighs the most. I didn't see an award for that. If the Heisman is the most prestigious award/trophy in all of college football then why do we have to offer TWO other player of the year awards? Isn't a Defensive End a defensive lineman? Too many awards. Here is my list of awards(All awards will be voted on by the media, coaches, directors, etc...):
- The Heisman Memorial Trophy--Keep this one in. It is the most recognizable college football award. It would stand for the Player of the Year(offensive and defensive).
- Butkus Award--I think he was the greatest defender of all time so we will keep this one in there. Defensive Player of the Year(unless he is the Heisman winner).
- Unitas Trophy--Offensive Player of the Year(unless he is the Heisman winner).
Get rid of the rest, no one gives a fuck about them anyway. Who really pays attention to the best placekicker award? Name the last 3 winners of that award right now......you can't do it because no one gives a fuck. NCAA Awards Committee = Stupid fuckers
6--The Philadelphia 76'ers are a bunch of dolts. They have publicly announced that they will be trading Allen Iverson. They have even gone so far as to clean out his locker and essentially kicked him off the team, but are still paying him....DOH! Why announce this when every team in the NBA already knew you were shopping him around for the best deal? The 76'ers were getting better offers over the summer when they were UNofficially trading him. Stupid Fuckers.
7--The Alabama football program should never have fired Mike Shula. He was doing a pretty damn good job considering he was just now getting his class into the system and was working with a limited number of scholarships (not his fault). He lost some very key players(D Ryans and B Croyle stand out to me) and still finished 6-6. 6-6 may not be more than average, but it got the team invited to their record 54th straight bowl game. They should have given him another year at least. Now they are coachless and can't pay anybody enough to take the job. Tell you what Alabama, I will take the job. 500K a year, a house, and moving expenses. There ya go coaching vacancy is filled. Stupid Fuckers.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this weeks version of the "Stupid Fucker" list. Tune in next week when a brand new list will be unveiled. Votes will be taken and maybe even counted to determine who should be on the list. Remember, don't fart on a plane unless you can do it silently.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Weekly "Stupid Fucker" List
This is my 'stupid fucker' list. I will be creating one of these every week and giving a little insight as to why each made the list. Well, let's get down to business shall we:
1. Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel
2. The Media Popularity Trophy--otherwise known as the Heisman Trophy
3. The Big 10 Athletic Directors
4. Notre Dame football
5. Rex Grossman
6. The Boston Red Sox
7. MLB Owners in general
8. Barry Bonds
1--Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel declines to participate in the final coaches poll. Conflict of Interest is the reasoning behind his chicken shit decision. He did not want to put his football program in the middle of deciding who his team played in the national championship. Kind of funny since he participated in all the other coaches poll's and had no problem putting either Michigan or Florida ahead of the other one, but when it comes down to the poll that is published for all the world to see, he backs away and says he just didn't think it was fair. What a load of shit. I think USA Today should take his vote out of the poll for 10 years. Then he will not have a say no matter what his team is ranked, since he doesn't want that kind of responsibility obviously. Stupid fucker!
2--The Popularity Trophy, I mean the Heisman Trophy. This is the most prestigious award in college football that an individual player can earn. Yet, it is nothing more than a popularity contest. I'm not saying the players that win, or even get listed, are not any good, because in most cases they are very good. I'm just saying that the list of Heisman candidates should not even be considered until AT LEAST half way through the season. Then the best players from ALL Division I-A schools should be considered. Right now, only players from the more noteable schools are considered pre-season favorites. Then, even though the likes of Colt Brennan have one of the best college seasons for a quarterback EVER, they are still over-looked because they were not considered a favorite right off the bat. Colt Brennan attends the University of Hawaii and will pass for over 5000 yards and has an excellent chance of breaking the single season touchdown mark of 54 (He has 53 going into his last game on Dec 24th). Now if he had been a pre-season favorite, I don't think the media would have handed the trophy to Troy Smith over a month ago. Troy would still probably win the Heisman, but it would not have been a done deal until about a week ago. As it stands Troy Smith was practically handed the trohpy early well over a month ago. Stupid fuckin' media!
3--Once again controversy surrounds the BCS. This time though the computers are not to blame. The human voters are the ones that moved Florida past Michigan and into the title game. Why did this happen you ask. Well, part of the problem could be that Michigan has not played a game since Nov18th. Out of sight out of mind as they say. Maybe the Big 10 needs to look at their policy of ending the season for all Big 10 teams before Thanksgiving. I mean finals aren't until either this past week or the one coming up (not sure). So they could easily play another game or two to keep their top programs in the eyes of the voters. Too bad so sad for whatever that team was that lost to the number one team, they played so long ago I can't remember. Stupid fuckers!
4--Notre Dame football is the bane of all college football. I hate this program and would rejoice if they never won another game. They need to be in a conference. They are really here for the simple fact that I hate the program. A large group of stupid fuckers!
5--Rex Grossman has caused me more grief than anyone else on my fantasy team. I dropped him since he can't figure out which team he plays on. He will be the downfall of the Chicago Bears if he does not stop making the huge mistakes he is making. Not leading the offense into the end zone is not the end of the world, especially when you have a defense like Chicago does, but turning the ball over making said defense work against a short field will lead to an early exit from the playoffs. Stupid fucker!
6--$70M for JD "I'm always injured" Drew? WOW! What is my team doing? If they keep Manny then this might make some more sense considering that Drew (when he is healthy) would make a good #2 or #5 hitter, before or after the two main guys....Big Pappi and Manny. LEts hope they make the right decision and keep Manny and hurry up and sign their $70M pitcher from Japan--Daisuke Matsuzaka. Stupid fuckers!
7--The owners are throwing money around like it is confetti at a wedding. Just because you have it to spend doesn't mean you need to give average players good player money (all amounts in yearly salary)--
$5M to Gary Mathews Jr--best season was last year, 32yrs old
$10.5M to Tom Glavine--Still good, but no longer elite
$9+M to Nomar Garciaparra--too inured for this kind of money
$9.5M to Jim Edmonds--good leader, but getting old
$14.6M to Aramas Ramirez--WOW, good but not that good
$17M to Alfonso Soriano--Too many K's and not enough OB% for this kind of money
$16.7M to Carlos Lee--see Soriano
$6.3M to Danys Baez--career 3.79ERA and WHIP of 1.31---too high for 6M
and the marguis pitchers still ahve not been signed. What is Zito or Schmidt going to get, 5yrs for $80M? Stupid fuckers!
8--I hate Barry Bonds. If I were a pitcher in MLB I would try and bean his stupid ass every time he came to bat against me. I hope he does not play next year or ever again and never makes it into the hall of fame. He took what could have been a monster of a career and wiped his ass with it. He was doing just fine without steroids and would have put up hall of fame numbers easily (barring injury), but his ego would not let him do it the right way. Nope, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were getting HIS headlines and he wanted them for himself. Stupid fucker!
See ya next week when I have another list. Maybe it will be different and maybe it won't.
1. Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel
2. The Media Popularity Trophy--otherwise known as the Heisman Trophy
3. The Big 10 Athletic Directors
4. Notre Dame football
5. Rex Grossman
6. The Boston Red Sox
7. MLB Owners in general
8. Barry Bonds
1--Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel declines to participate in the final coaches poll. Conflict of Interest is the reasoning behind his chicken shit decision. He did not want to put his football program in the middle of deciding who his team played in the national championship. Kind of funny since he participated in all the other coaches poll's and had no problem putting either Michigan or Florida ahead of the other one, but when it comes down to the poll that is published for all the world to see, he backs away and says he just didn't think it was fair. What a load of shit. I think USA Today should take his vote out of the poll for 10 years. Then he will not have a say no matter what his team is ranked, since he doesn't want that kind of responsibility obviously. Stupid fucker!
2--The Popularity Trophy, I mean the Heisman Trophy. This is the most prestigious award in college football that an individual player can earn. Yet, it is nothing more than a popularity contest. I'm not saying the players that win, or even get listed, are not any good, because in most cases they are very good. I'm just saying that the list of Heisman candidates should not even be considered until AT LEAST half way through the season. Then the best players from ALL Division I-A schools should be considered. Right now, only players from the more noteable schools are considered pre-season favorites. Then, even though the likes of Colt Brennan have one of the best college seasons for a quarterback EVER, they are still over-looked because they were not considered a favorite right off the bat. Colt Brennan attends the University of Hawaii and will pass for over 5000 yards and has an excellent chance of breaking the single season touchdown mark of 54 (He has 53 going into his last game on Dec 24th). Now if he had been a pre-season favorite, I don't think the media would have handed the trophy to Troy Smith over a month ago. Troy would still probably win the Heisman, but it would not have been a done deal until about a week ago. As it stands Troy Smith was practically handed the trohpy early well over a month ago. Stupid fuckin' media!
3--Once again controversy surrounds the BCS. This time though the computers are not to blame. The human voters are the ones that moved Florida past Michigan and into the title game. Why did this happen you ask. Well, part of the problem could be that Michigan has not played a game since Nov18th. Out of sight out of mind as they say. Maybe the Big 10 needs to look at their policy of ending the season for all Big 10 teams before Thanksgiving. I mean finals aren't until either this past week or the one coming up (not sure). So they could easily play another game or two to keep their top programs in the eyes of the voters. Too bad so sad for whatever that team was that lost to the number one team, they played so long ago I can't remember. Stupid fuckers!
4--Notre Dame football is the bane of all college football. I hate this program and would rejoice if they never won another game. They need to be in a conference. They are really here for the simple fact that I hate the program. A large group of stupid fuckers!
5--Rex Grossman has caused me more grief than anyone else on my fantasy team. I dropped him since he can't figure out which team he plays on. He will be the downfall of the Chicago Bears if he does not stop making the huge mistakes he is making. Not leading the offense into the end zone is not the end of the world, especially when you have a defense like Chicago does, but turning the ball over making said defense work against a short field will lead to an early exit from the playoffs. Stupid fucker!
6--$70M for JD "I'm always injured" Drew? WOW! What is my team doing? If they keep Manny then this might make some more sense considering that Drew (when he is healthy) would make a good #2 or #5 hitter, before or after the two main guys....Big Pappi and Manny. LEts hope they make the right decision and keep Manny and hurry up and sign their $70M pitcher from Japan--Daisuke Matsuzaka. Stupid fuckers!
7--The owners are throwing money around like it is confetti at a wedding. Just because you have it to spend doesn't mean you need to give average players good player money (all amounts in yearly salary)--
$5M to Gary Mathews Jr--best season was last year, 32yrs old
$10.5M to Tom Glavine--Still good, but no longer elite
$9+M to Nomar Garciaparra--too inured for this kind of money
$9.5M to Jim Edmonds--good leader, but getting old
$14.6M to Aramas Ramirez--WOW, good but not that good
$17M to Alfonso Soriano--Too many K's and not enough OB% for this kind of money
$16.7M to Carlos Lee--see Soriano
$6.3M to Danys Baez--career 3.79ERA and WHIP of 1.31---too high for 6M
and the marguis pitchers still ahve not been signed. What is Zito or Schmidt going to get, 5yrs for $80M? Stupid fuckers!
8--I hate Barry Bonds. If I were a pitcher in MLB I would try and bean his stupid ass every time he came to bat against me. I hope he does not play next year or ever again and never makes it into the hall of fame. He took what could have been a monster of a career and wiped his ass with it. He was doing just fine without steroids and would have put up hall of fame numbers easily (barring injury), but his ego would not let him do it the right way. Nope, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were getting HIS headlines and he wanted them for himself. Stupid fucker!
See ya next week when I have another list. Maybe it will be different and maybe it won't.
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