Year End "Stupid Fucker" List

The last "Stupid Fucker" list of 2006 will be the 10 biggest "Stupid Fuckers" in the world of sports as determined by me. These are in no particular order.

1. The Anti-Christ
2. Terrell Owens
3. Justin Gatlin
4. Floyd Landis and Lance Armstrong
5. Ohio State Football Coach Jim Tressell
6. Brady Quinn and Notre Dame Football
7. MLB Owners and GMs
8. The BCS System
9. Zinedine Zidane
10. The Houston Texans

1-The Anti-Christ, also known as Barry Bonds. The Anti-Christ is my most hated baseball player of all time and probably will be forever. I don't hate the Anti-Christ as a person, I have never met it, but I loathe it as a baseball player. To basically take the record book and wipe your ass with it is the most despicable thing that can be done as far as I am concerned (it barely beats out spitting on another player). Barry Bonds was having a Hall of Fame career before he became the Anti-Christ, he was the sole member of the 500-500 club (500 career Home Runs and 500 career steals). This almost assured him a spot in the Hall especially considering he was still playing and had a good 5-10 years to go, baring injury of course. Apparently being a shoe in to the Hall of Fame was not good enough for this FUCKER. Nope, not the Anti-Christ. He sees other players getting records and taking the spotlight off of him so he decides he NEEDS to take roids and start breaking records. After getting caught, the Anti-Christ claims to not have known about any illegal activity and totally denies EVER to have taken any form of roids. WHAT A STUPID FUCKING LIAR. The Anti-Christ used to be solidly built, nothing spectacular, but had good power and was quick. Now it has ballooned into a ginormously large head and neck and bulked up faster than humanly possible. Injuries were just shaken off until it had to pretend it wasn't using anymore. Once the body was off the junk the injuries lingered. Make no mistake, the Anti-Christ went from a great, maybe one of the greatest, baseball player to a junkie has been that only the stupid fuckers of San Francisco can stand. It can still hit the ball and will eventually break the most hallowed record in the books, if it can find the record underneath the Hershey stain it has left on the book, unless it suffers a career-ending injury (PLEASE INJURE THIS STUPID FUCKER). I have no problem with the record getting broken that is what happens to records, but I have a problem with the Anti-Christ breaking it. STUPID FUCKER!

2-We go from the most disrespectful baseball player to the most disrespectful football player. Terrell Owens is a loud, obnoxious, stupid fucking wide receiver that only cares about what he is getting out of any situation regardless of the consequences to the people around him. He admittedly falls asleep in team meetings, doesn't show up for practice, alligator arms passes thrown to him if he doesn't drop the pass outright. His rise to "Stupid Fucker" status was complete when he spit in the face of DeAngelo Hall, my boy from Virginia Tech. How disrespectful and uncaring about another human being can you be? To top things off after admitting that he committed the act, he then realizes it was not caught on tape so he denied it the next day. What a piece of work this stupid fucker is. Owens does not respect anybody (player, coach, ex-player, regular person, fan, etc....) and cares not what harm his actions could cause anybody, except himself. He just wants to be in the spotlight, whether that is positive or negative, he doesn't care. As long as no-one forgets him or gets more headlines than him he is happy. STUPID FUCKER!

3-Justin, Justin, Justin....what the fuck were you thinking? Another good example of a world class athlete that for some stupid reason feels the need to take a performance enhancer. In May of 2006 Justin Gatlin ran the fastest time in history in the 100m dash----9.77 seconds. WOW! WAIT!!!!!!!!!! He tested positive for testosterone on April 22nd, 2006 and ended up with an 8 year ban. What the fuck?!? Are any of the records in sports not drug-enhanced? I was ecstatic when Justin won the 100m dash at the Olympic Games in Athens. Now I am just disappointed and confused as to why he would do something like this. STUPID FUCKER!

4-The Tour de France is probably the most gruelling race of any kind in sports. To win this race is an achievement that a person should be extremely proud of. Winning it more than once is just incredible. Only 18 cyclists have ever won the race more than once. Only the last 2 (Armstrong 7 times and Landis in 2006) have been accused of doping. I say strip them both of their titles (all of them) and give it to the next person in line that didn't dope. Fuck 'em all for doping. Strip this prominent title away from the cheaters that didn't earn it and give it to the rightful winners whoever they may be. STUPID FUCKERS!

5-Jim Tressell is a great football coach. He is also an idiot. After voting in and influencing the polls for the first 14 weeks of the college football season, ol' Jimbo here decides that his vote would not be missed in the final poll (the one that publishes the coaches vote's) and does not complete his. He based this decision on not wanting to influence who his team played in the national championship game. Well dumbass you have already done that by voting in the previous 14. I think he just didn't want people to see which team he was afraid of facing in the national championship game. I hope Florida kicks Ohio State's ass. Ohio State should just hide behind their coach and stay in Ohio in the pit of cowardice their coach has dug for them. STUPID FUCKER!

6-So Brady "Crybaby" Quinn thinks the critics are giving the Notre Dame football program an unfair rap. He is tired of the criticism from the media and doesn't like hearing all the critics say how much his team stinks. Well miss Quinn it is time to shit or get off the pot. You have one game to prove that your team is even remotely good. #4 LSU is all that stands between you and being the #1 pick in next years NFL draft (although I would put you as a mid-late first rounder personally). Beat #4 LSU and the fact you played like a huge pile of elephant shit in the only two games against good teams (Michigan and USC) will disappear. Make sure you change your diaper before you take the field against LSU or you will be swimming in shit yet again. STUPID FUCKER!

7-The contracts that have been handed out to mediocre players this off-season is ludicrous. Give the owners and GM's some money to play with and they will spend every dime of it on players that should be making half as much. I mean come on $10M- Gary Matthews Jr, $11M- Ted Lilly and Gil Meche, $16M-The Anti-Christ, $16+M- Jason Schmidt, $16.6M- Carlos Lee, $16M- Andy Pettite, $8.8M-Juan Pierre, $17M-Alfonso Soriano, $9M-Frank Thomas, $9.5M-Jim Edmonds, $9.25M-Nomar Garciaparra, $10.5M-Tom Glavine, $14.6M-Aramis Ramirez to name some. These contracts are out of this world. All of these players are aging or injury prone and are going to have a hard time living up to these contracts. I bet in 2-3 years we see most if not all of these contracts on the trading block. Show some restraint owners/GMs. The fans want to win, but not at the cost of the future of their team. STUPID FUCKERS!

8-The BCS System is terrible yet again this year. Although this year the computers are not to blame. This year we can thank the coaches and media for the controversy. Michigan or Florida? Who knows, I agree with Florida getting their shot, but you could make a good argument for Michigan as well, their only loss came AT Ohio State and that by only three points. Florida lost to then #11 Auburn, a bitter rival. Other than that one game, they won every SEC game they played, including the championship. They beat LSU, Tennessee, and Arkansas. Some say the National Champion needs to win their conference/conference championship game. I agree with that--winning their conference should be a requirement. I also think that the Coaches poll should publish the way a coach votes for the entire year (not just the last week). This would prevent coaches from changing their votes for no apparent reason for the last poll. If their vote's are published they could be called out as to why they moved a team above another one. STUPID FUCKING SYSTEM!

9-Way to use your head asshole! Zinedine Zidane, for those of you who do not follow soccer, decided that trash talking against his family, friends, fans, dog, cat, french teacher, etc... was punishable with a head butt directly to the sternum of Italian player Marco Materazzi. This could have seriously injured Marco, but whether or not Marco got injured is not the reason Zizou made this list. Zizou is regarded as one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He was always considered a fair player and won FIFA World Player of the Year a record tying 3 times. Real Madrid paid an astounding 66M Euros in a transfer fee to get him to their team. No other transfer fee in history has come close to this sum. So why would he jeopardize such an astonishing career by getting red-carded in the final match (the WORLD CUP FINAL at that) of his storied career for head-butting another player? Good question and as far as I am concerned there is no good answer. He should have let whatever was said go and finish the match. France ended up losing that match to Italy. Largely in part to the fact that their best player and spiritual leader was not on the pitch. STUPID FUCKER!

10-The Houston Texans are complete idiots for not taking Reggie Bush as the #1 pick in last year's NFL draft. Not that Mario Williams is a bad player, but he is not the impact player that Reggie is. Reggie is an all around player that would have brought a new dimension to the Texans offense. At least he would have been a great outlet for David Carr to dump the ball off to before he got plastered into the turf. The Texans would rather see Carr looking to the sky (sacked and on his back)than provide him with serious offensive threat. Good thing they still suck so they can maybe get a lesser player with their first round pick this year. STUPID FUCKERS!

Well, there you have it, the 10 stupidest fuckers in the world of sports, as far as I am concerned, for this year. GO VIRGINIA TECH!!!!!