The Weekly "Stupid Fucker" List

The weekly "stupid fucker" list will be moving to Fridays. That being typed, here is the list.

• Nick Saban
• Brady 'Crybaby' Quinn
• MLB Owners
• Arizona Diamondbacks

Nick Saban--Wah, wah, wah! Rebuilding the Miami Dolphins was too much for this bozo. He left the head coaching job of the Miami Dolphins because he thought the rebuilding process was too hard. Good thing he thought that too, because he fuckin' sucked at it. The defense, although spectacular at times, is older than the rest of the NFL combined and does not have a single young star on it that I can think of. The QB situation is fucked at best with Culpepper, Harrington and Lemon. Neither Culpepper nor Harrington are the answer and I haven't seen enough of Lemon to know if he is or not. So he tucks tail and runs back to the college game, where he can lie to players and parents about how long he will be there. I think he will do a good 'coaching' job at Alabama, in other words I think Alabama will win again. How long he stays there is a question for another day. Stupid Fucker!

Brady 'crybaby' Quinn--What a loser this fucking guy is. He wins the 'Golden Arm' award (best senior quarterback) and the Maxwell award (best college football player), yet can't beat any team that has won more than like 2 games in the history of the school (except Navy which has won 5 games in its history). How the hell can this guy be the best college player and quarterback if he can't do anything but shit his diaper in a big game. He has good stats the past 2 years (7345 yds, 69TDs, and 14 interceptions), but was completely lousy against any good team. Good luck to whatever NFL team lands this gem of a player. Stupid fucker!

MLB Owners--Money, money, money, mmoonneeyy.....MONEY! The owners are like starving kids in a candy store. Here are the ten worst signings of the hot stove, in no particular order (and not necessarily because the player is bad).
1--Gary Matthews Jr.--5yrs/$50M--$10M a year for an over the hill has been outfielder that hasn't knocked in more than 80 runs in a year and won't last the whole contract
2--Gil Meche--5yrs/$55M--$11M a year for this guy? Who the fuck is Gil Meche and what has he done to be worth $11M a year. He must be a 20-game winner...NOPE. A big strikeout pitcher....Not a chance. A workhorse....Whatever. He is barely an average pitcher that should be making closer to the league minimum rather than $11M a year.
3--Andy Pettite--1yr/$16M--Another over the hill pitcher getting way more than he is worth. I know pitching is hard to come by, but come on.
4--Jason Schmidt--3yrs/$47M--This would be a good contract if Schmidt didn't have health issues. The Dodgers will be lucky to get 1 full good year out of all three.
5--Frank Thomas--2yrs/$18M--Thomas is like 800 years old. I know he just had a good season, but do you really think he will do it again? I predict he will get injured again and won't even be able to finish this contract.
6--Jim Edmonds--2yrs/$19M--Jim was a great ballplayer, but now he is just an above average player. Not worth the $9.5M a year he will be getting.
7--Nomar Garciaparra--2yrs/$18.5M--If he wasn't so injury-prone this might actually be a good deal for the Dodgers. Too bad he spends more time on the DL than my wife spends on the Internet (even if it is research, she is always on).
8--Barry Zito--7yrs/$126M--I think his first two years will be above average, but then his body will start to break down from all the innings he has pitched over the last few years(200+IP in each of the last 6 years).
9--Ted Lilly--4yrs/$40M--$10M a year for a .500 pitcher and an career ERA of almost 5.00. Give me a break.
10--Randy Wolf--1yr/$8M--WHAT?!? $8M for a barely average pitcher that has given up almost one HR per game pitched (157HR/194G) and has a strikeout to walk ratio of barely over 2 K's per walk (971K/437BB).

MLB owners are just plain stupid. Stupid Fuckers.

Arizona Diamondbacks--How stupid do you have to be to trade for a pitcher that makes more than the owner and is older than the entire pitching staff combined? Pretty stupid if you ask me. The Spankees must be eating their cake that they found some sucker team to take this old has-been off their hands with minimal cost to them. Randy Johnson will make $16M this year ($14M paid by Arizona and the other $2M by the Spankees). He will allow far too many runs for the less than potent Arizona offense to help him to the 15+ wins the Spankee offense helped him get. I know he is a fan favorite in Arizona, but come on, this is far too high a price tag just for that. Stupid Fuckers!

Well, that is it for this week. Hope you liked it.

The $126 Million Pitcher?

Is Barry Zito worth $126 million? According to the ludicrous contracts handed out by owners this off-season then yes, but in reality he is not. This is the largest contract ever given to a pitcher and only the third over $100 million. Mike Hampton signed and 8 year $121M contract before 2001 with the Colorado Rockies and Kevin Brown inked $105M from the Yankees from 1999-2005. Both of these pitchers went downhill from the moment they signed their deals. Kevin Brown started having major back problems (which actually started in LA, makes you wonder what the Yankees were thinking) and finished 72-45. Not very #1 starter-like numbers. Hampton meanwhile had trouble in the thin air of Colorado and couldn't get his looping curve ball to loop and has gone 53-48 since he signed the deal and is now playing for the Atlanta Braves. I believe Zito will have a few good seasons, especially since the NL West is the worst division in baseball. Then the workload he has carried over the past seasons and the workload he will be expected to carry in SF will get the better of him.