A ginormous can of "Woop Ass"!

That is what Beckett opened up on the Rockies last night. "Oh shit!!!" was the general expression on the faces of the Rockies players as they attended their first ever World Series game. I say attended because you can't really call their performance last night as playing--at least not on a professional level. Beckett and the Sox demoralized the Rockies 13-1 in what was a close game until it started. Beckett struck out the side in the top of the first and Boston scored 3 times in the bottom of the first to ice the game.

Beckett was the lights out pitcher he has been his whole post season career, mowing down rocky after rocky and then calmly walking off the field. Atkins and Helton shook the cobwebs out enough to get a few hits, but the over-matched Rockies never really threatened Beckett and couldn't seem to figure out he was throwing mostly fastballs.

Pedroia became the first rookie to EVER lead off the World Series with a home run and that was just the beginning of the end of game 1. Every single BoSox starter had an RBI, except Lowell, and a hit, except Ellsbury. By the 5th inning they had set the record for most extra base hits in a World Series game with 9.

Now I know the Rockies had 8 days off to dread their impending doom to the American League Champion, but that is no excuse for forgetting how to play baseball. They did practice and have simulated games, which is more than I do for my job when I am on vacation yet I still manage to remember how to work.

Francis found out what it was like to make mistake pitches to a team that can actually hit the ball. Arizona couldn't hit the ass end of an elephant with a beach ball let alone a baseball. Philadelphia had the same problem the Rockies had last night, they just had there "Oh shit!!!!!" reaction in the Division Series.

Morales came in and thought each inning only needed two outs instead of three. He quit pitching after the second out and the BoSox dropped 7 runs on the board. Of course Morales probably didn't expect Speier to walk home three of the people he put on base. Speier decided to pull a Rick Ankiel and walk everybody he faced giving the BoSox 13 runs, 11 of which came with 2 outs.

The Rockies came to Fenway last night rested and relaxed right up until game time. Then they took their seats and watched Beckett pitch ridonculously. The Rockies were not effected by an 8 day lay-off. What happened is they got handed an old fashioned beat-down. A ginormous can of "Woop-Ass" was opened up by the BoSox.

Schilling will be pitching for the BoSox tonight against Ubaldo Jimenez. The can of "Woop Ass" Schilling uses is a bit smaller than Beckett's these days, but it is still enough to beat the lowly Rockies. The Rockies are sending another rookie to the mound, Morales was the first one, to be slaughtered by the powerful BoSox lineup. Jimenez had to be sent out early in last night's game to find his own can of "Woop Ass" for tonight. Apparently the Rockies didn't think Jimenez could handle the sight of Beckett's can and didn't want to subject him to the horrors of the BoSox hitters. The BoSox should take care of business again tonight and win by the score of 9-6.