Fear the ROID RAGE!!!!!

Fantasy Football playoffs are here. Well, one week away, so I would like to touch on the season that could be for my team (ROID RAGE) and the season that should have been for my lovely wife. Lets start with my season to date:

Standings:
4th and long--10-4--2335.57pts
Using the Force--9-5--2159.33
Roid Rage--8-6--2320.27
Canesrule--7-7--2078.50
Red Bull U--5-9--2055.14
Fifth Down--3-11--2260.74

Week 1--Lost 182.65-180.23 (0-1)
Week 2--Won 176.33-140.73 (1-1)
Week 3--Lost 161.93-118.38 (1-2)
Week 4--Won 179.05-160.20 (2-2)
Week 5--Lost 164.22-137.74 (2-3)
Week 6--Won 205.27-182.78 (3-3)
Week 7--Lost 117.98-109.71 (3-4)
Week 8--Won 160.93-125.51 (4-4)
Week 9--Lost 196.08-145.61 (4-5)
Week 10--Won 169.09-141.60 (5-5)
Week 11--Lost 138.78-128.95 (5-6)
Week 12--Won 227.05-177.46 (6-6)
Week 13--Won 186.78-141.06 (7-6)
Week 14--Won 195.15-151.43 (8-6)
Week 15--This week
Week 16--Round 1 of playoffs
Week 17--Round 2 of playoffs

As you can see the three game winning streak at the end has put me in at the third seed for the playoffs for now. So even though I had an up and down beginning to the season, it is turning out to be pretty good. My wife on the other hand is not doing so well (she is Fifth Down). This is her first year playing Fantasy Football and it has been much fun playing with her. She has a great team that has seen more bad luck in one fantasy season than I have seen in all my years of playing. Her team could easily be at least 10-4 and in the playoffs. Lets break down her season to this point:

Week 1--Lost 150.75-145.39----Close game but no real standouts that would have changed the game either way. (0-1)
Week 2--Lost 156.70-148.38----Adrian Wilson of the opposing team scored twice his average. IF he scores is average, the wife wins 148.38 - 143.93 (0-2), could be (1-1)
Week 3--Won 157.86-137.08 (1-2 or 2-1)
Week 4--Lost 178.06-148.13----Both teams had people step up or suck. Biggest person going against the wife was Santana Moss deciding to get his only touchdowns of the year (3) in this game. Wouldn't have changed the outcome. (1-3 or 2-2)
Week 5--Won 164.22-137.74 (2-3 or 3-2)
Week 6--Lost 233.77-190.43----4th and Long had several players have career games, but they still would have won. (2-4 or 3-3)
Week 7--Lost 181-156.58----Hines Ward and Michael Vick went off for Using the Force. Alge Crumpler had a great game for Fifth Down but Matt Leinart sucked more than a vacuum cleaner. Put each one of these 4 players at their average and the wife wins 150-141. (2-5 or 4-3)
Week 8--Lost 184.23-173.38----Jake Plummer, Marc Bulger, and Reggie Wayne had great games well above their average. Put these guys closer to their averages and the wife wins again. Shit, just put Reggie Wayne down closer to his average and the wife would have won.(2-6 or 5-3)
Week 9--Lost 162.66-148.54----Brady blew more than a porn star. put him around his average and the wife wins again (barely 162.81-162.66) but a win is a win.(2-7 or 6-3)
Week 10--Lost 169.09-141.60----would have been closer if San Diego defense hadn't tanked against Cincinnati. (2-8 or 6-4)
Week 11--Lost 208.20-189.55----Lee Evans was 24 points above his average. Put him 3 points above his average and the wife wins--189.55-187.2. (2-9 or 7-4)
Week 12--Lost 184.1-170.98----Joseph Addai decided to have the biggest game of his short career--4TD's and a whopping 27 points over his season average. Give him 10 points over and the wife wins 170.98-167.1. (2-10 or 8-4)
Week 13--Lost 161.75-154.83----DeMeco Ryans obliterates his average by more than 30 points. Take away 3 tackles and his int and the wife wins again 154.83-153.75. (2-11 or 9-4)
Week 14--Won 170.87-147.58 (3-11 or 10-4)
Week 15--This week
Week 16--Bye--First round of consolation round
Week 17--Consolation Round

So as you can see, all it takes is one player to give you a win or loss. Of course, the rest of the team needs to do their job and get close to their average each week otherwise the break-out performance will be for naught.

When the wife agreed to play fantasy football this year I was ecstatic. I knew I could help her with my giant fuzzball of knowledge and the experts at ESPN and Yahoo. Well, my giant fuzzball is now a tiny dust bunny waiting to be swept up from the corner of the bedroom. All the advice I have given her based on my knowledge and the experts went against her. She has lost all confidence in my knowledge :(.

She now plays fantasy basketball. Yesterday one of the fools in our league offers her the trade of a lifetime---Shawn Marion for Udonis Haslem (straight up). She showed me the offer and I said she should take it. She balked at me (she is crushing the league BTW) and said my advice is no longer good and she will no longer be listening to anything I have to offer. It was a sad day in my household. My already dwindled knowledge ball of football now has company with the even smaller dust bunny--my basketball knowledge (this wasn't that big to begin with). I told her that even though she likes her team the way it is, Shawn Marion would be a ginormous upgrade.

PS. She did eventually accept the trade for Shawn Marion.